


Be careful what you click on

by Ernutet



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 10:44:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ernutet/pseuds/Ernutet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Universes collide a.k.a. Jack and Daniel discover the wonders of Cyberspace</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be careful what you click on

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in 2007, in the midst of a PMS attack. You have been warned.
> 
> I've been told there's a need for the standard "DO NOT EAT OR DRINK WHILE READING!" warning.
> 
> This short stuff has first been posted in my journal only, but I'm setting it free into the wild, after all... hopefully it will bring a smile to someone's face.
> 
> IMPORTANT: Just to be clear, this was NOT meant as making-fun of anyone!!! Just silly humor; nothing more, nothing less. I, for one, would die and go to heaven to be able to get something from the stuff mentioned below :)

Daniel kept his eyes glued to the screen and mumbled "Jack?"

Nothing. It was so quiet he might had been talking to himself. Almost. Quickly glancing to the right corner of his office, Daniel called again, this time as loud as he dared. With no actual need for being hush-hush, he still felt it was better to keep it down. Just in case. "Jack!"

There was a movement in the far reaches of the room and an annoyed huff and sigh answered his summons. "What? I'm *finally* reading that dissert- er, I mean *report* of yours you've been naggin' me to go over for days! Who's gotten into your pants?"

That earned him the "Jack's-acting-strange-look", but Daniel pretty much ignored the General's tirade. "It won't go away. This might, 'cause I sure don't wanna bookmark it for anyone to find later..."

That stirred up some interest, enough to make Jack get up and join Daniel at his desk. "Hmmm? Whatcha got there?"

Without words, Daniel pointed to the computer screen showing something titled "Fangirl's Heaven". Jack peered at the screen, glancing over what appeared to be *posts* in a *Yahoo-group* ... whatever the hell that was. The subject lines were... interesting. "Daniel's glasses on sale in 5 days!!!", "I just got my Jack's T-shirt (does Daniel-dance of joy)", "I wanna have their BDU pants! (whines)", "Hope to buy Daniel's head on e-bay... been saving for it for months"...

Jack straightened up, still staring at the message board while Daniel clicked on one of the posts and read aloud "Hi, guys. I just received The blue scrubs Daniel wore in infirmary this year. They're a bit too big, but will wear them to bed as jammies! So, so cool! 'Can't wait to go sleeping with Daniel ;) "

Jack's face remained stonily baffled, but the small quirking of his lips betrayed the effort of trying not to laugh. Daniel glared, Jack raised his eyebrows in a "no-idea-what-you're-talking-about" and then burst out laughing. Daniel continued to glare halfheartedly, while Jack - the person with stars on his shirt – tried to inhale enough air to avoid aphyxiation.

"Will you stop that? This is serious!" Daniel tried to sound serious, but it was difficult to do with Jack almost rolling on the floor laughing his ass off.

Laughter finally subsiding, Jack picked himself up, snorted, wiped his eyes and did his best to look serious. Sounding like a helium balloon on speed didn't help much. "'Kay. Sure...." He couldn't resist, punching the still frowning archaeologist playfully on the shoulder "Daniel, you dog! Girl in every corner of every universe!"

Daniel rolled his eyes, sighed deeply and turned back to the screen. "I just don't get it... I mean, where do they get these things? It's our personal stuff, dammit! And... and this... "Daniel's head"?! That's gotta be that android's head! Where the hell did they – whoever's selling that... stuff - get that?!" He was working himself up to a full rant and he knew it. Not good for his pressure, as Janet loved pointing out at every check up.

Jack patted the hyperventilating man's arm, shaking his head. "Daniel, Daniel... black market has it all and much more than we think... Probably someone from the inside is having a side business of selling this stuff to... interested parties".

"So what're you gonna do about it?" Daniel asked, clearly waiting for Jack to use his General's magic wand and make it all bett-er.

Jack appeared to think about it for a moment, then shrugged and said: "Nuthin'".

Predictably, Daniel sounded shocked "What do you mean, nothing? They're selling and buying our personal things! Maybe weapons, too! Alien stuff! And you said it yourself – it might be an inside job!"

"Well, we wouldn't find out about it if you hadn't clicked on some obscure link, would we?". Jack tried to sound resonable, and Daniel actually paused to think and breathe.

"This is not my fault...! I was surfing, looking for info on the Mayan pottery, when the picture froze and this page opened – I don't remember clicking on any link...!"

"I'm not saying it is your fault, just that you either clicked it by accident or it appeared 'cause of some technical glitch, whatever... and before that we've been livin' in a perfect bliss of not-knowing.... Right?" Jack looked pointedly at Daniel.

Daniel stared and pouted, then mumbled "Right."

"Sooo... I'd say we're better off forgetting about this whole... thing. Right?"

Another strangled "Right" and the look noone else would dare direct towards the General was all Jack got. Which was far more that he hoped for.

"Right!", Jack said cheerfully and smiled, slapped his friend's shoulder and strolled off to pick up the report he'd been reading before, then making a beeline for the door. "Going to read this and probably drown you in questions later..." He stepped out of the office/lab, then peered back in "And watch what you click on!" With a grin he dissapeared, leaving Daniel staring after him with a frown, then at the screen and finally closing down the browser window with the offending content.

He won't be able to feel comfortable in those blue scrubs ever again.

**%%%%%%%%%%%%**

Like before, he made sure noone followed him. With the Gate offline for maintenance and cameras suffering some unknown technical problem, it was easy to slip unnoticed to the lowermost level and to enter the storage room 162. He closed the door, turned on the light and pulled the grey cloth off the object in the darkest corner of the room. Picking up the remote, he surfed through channels until he got to the one he was looking for. A woman in her forties appeared to be waiting on the other side, smiling politely. He nodded, then handed over the goodies from one of the crates next to him in silence... he liked the X-fileish feeling of it all. The woman piled up the stuff at her feet, her eyes wide with delight, then handed over an envelope and gave a pretty good salute. He smiled back, pointed the remote again and turned the thing off. He had confidance ih her, but still he checked the envelope only to find the agreed amount of money nestled inside, as well as the list of desired items.

Shutting down and closing up everything behind him, Siler hurried to the elevators and back to his office.

**%%%%%%%%%%%%**

The weather was shitty, cold and pouring buckets by a minute. Jack threw his soaked jacket on a hanger, went straight into the blisfully hot shower and after half an hour finally felt like a human being again. He had an early morning meeting the next day, so he inhaled a sandwich, downed a beer and did the traditional security check of the house before going upstairs.

As always, putting on the blue shirt and pants stirred up all kinds of things and feelings. Jack looked at himself in the mirror. He was sure the blue scrubs made the best impact in a combination with blue, not brown eyes. Turning off the main light, he crawled into the bed, snuggling in his brand new – or not so new – PJs, trying to inhale the leftover scent. He was assured of the genuinity of the item and that it had not been washed in detergent, only in pure water. Jack was pretty confident in Siler, being the one who could shut down his little operation in a matter of seconds. It was no brainer figuring out who was behind the business, and it took no more than ten minutes to make a deal.

Imagining sleeping with real Daniel, not just in his scrubs, Jack drifted off into dreamland, smiling at the thought of aquiring one worn, black, military issued T-shirt next.

THE END?


End file.
